Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
