Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
