youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
