erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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