My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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