she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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