Screwed.edu
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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