I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
