yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
