can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
