Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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