she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
