Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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