Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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