Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
