Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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