she peed on how many people?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
