I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
