is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
