All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize