Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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