I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
