so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
They have beer where we have blood.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
