false alarm. still invincible.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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