OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
