I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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