last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
