You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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