He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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