and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
