he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Randomize
