yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
