Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
