Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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