theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
