Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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