I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
