so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
