So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize