i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You need Xanax blowdarts
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
