Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
