We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
