dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
