I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
