The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
