Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
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Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
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Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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