You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
