I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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