carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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