UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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