i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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