i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
