Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
