why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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