we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
