Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
