You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
