i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
