I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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