I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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