Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize