I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
