its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
