I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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