it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
